Today I came across a simple "3 G" parenting framework — Govern, Garden, Guide — that maps parental roles to key developmental stages.

The idea is that in the early years (roughly 0-6), you Govern. Young children don't yet have consistent self-regulation, so clear structure, rules, and boundaries are essential Naively, I thought I'd be able to reason with a 18 month old but experience has shown otherwise. 😅

Bedtime routines, safety limits, and consistent responses to big emotions give them a secure foundation. No need to micromanage every moment, but still lay out guardrails so they can explore basic habits like sleeping, eating, and sharing.

From about 6-12, you switch to Garden mode. Like a gardener, you cultivate curiosity and character. You still provide guidelines—homework routines, household chores — but you're more focused on enriching experiences. You encourage hobbies, teamwork in sports or clubs, and age‑appropriate decision‑making. You're there to water their interests, prune distractions, and cheer them on as they develop a stronger sense of self.

Once they hit adolescence (12+), you move into Guide mode. At this stage, they have more developed reasoning and a growing drive for autonomy. Your job isn't to dictate, but to mentor—offering perspective on ethical dilemmas, helping them weigh consequences, and supporting their personal goals. You hold them accountable while giving them room to steer their own ship; you act as a sounding board rather than a controller.

Seems reasonable.

Core insights:

  • Parents need to evolve from authority figures to facilitators to mentors as children grow.
  • Each stage aligns with developmental psychology: self‑regulation, exploration, and independent thinking.
  • Flexible roles build security early on and foster resilience and responsibility later.

Takeaways:

  • 0-6 (Govern): Establish safety and routine with clear boundaries.
  • 6-12 (Garden): Nurture curiosity and skills within a supportive environment.
  • 12+ (Guide): Mentor critical thinking and personal accountability without micromanaging.